Neighbors, friends and pomegranates

Fresh homemade bread and oranges right off the tree!

Recently, I drove through a cold January rain to visit a dear friend in Houston that I had not seen in quite a while. Veta was my next door neighbor when I was growing up, and I have always thought of her as my second mother.  She and her husband, Rob, were just starting their family when they moved into our neighborhood in 1957, and my youngest brother, David, and I  were completely fascinated by our new neighbors!

You see, Veta is Italian, second generation from Sicily, and that meant that there were all sorts of relatives and get-togethers going on at the house next door.  David and I, brimming with curiosity, would peek through the slats of the redwood fence that separated our backyard from theirs, and marvel at all the activity, laughter, food, and people that overflowed from her home.  It appeared that her family and friends celebrated EVERYTHING!  The grass definitely seemed much greener on the other side of our fence.

Not only all of that, but they had a television set (black & white, of course!), a huge refrigerator in the kitchen and a "deep freeze" in the laundry area at the back of the carport, TWO cars (and one was a Nash Rambler station wagon!), AND an aquarium in one of the den walls!  Plus, they were growing strange vegetable in their backyard, like Swiss chard and a very long green squash that they called a "gugutza."  And in the brick planter of the carport was a cute little bush called a "pomegranate."

David and I would often sneak over and watch television through the window on their backdoor.  No sound, of course, but we could figure out what was happening on the "Shirley Temple Show" or the "Walt Disney Show" well enough for us.  When we were spotted by someone in the house, we were always invited in and a phone call made to our house (on a party line, of course!) to let my parents know where we were.  My grandparents in Mississippi had a television, too, and to us it was pure magic!

We were neighbors for almost ten years, and as I grew up, Veta would take me here and there with her, let me babysit with her four children, and welcome me with an open heart and arms whenever I needed to escape my own home, no questions asked.

She is 20 years my senior, but we have always had a very special friendship and connection, even though we have rarely visited in the past 40 something years.  It is amazing how friends can just pick up where they left off, as if no time has passed at all.  And that is exactly what happened that recent Saturday morning, from the moment I rang her doorbell, to the moment I made myself get back into my car for the return trip to HeartSong Farm!  

My second mother and dear friend, Veta, in mid-sentence!

I arrived a tad bit before one o'clock in the the afternoon and greeted with a wonderful welcoming hug (ahhhh!), and then two more!  Then we began to talk.  And we talked non-stop for twelve hours!!!!  In between, we sat down for some of her freshly baked bread (she let me have the end slice!) and some homemade jams and jellies.  We talked while she made us meatballs and spaghetti, roasted eggplant, and a berry cobbler for dinner and I sat on a stool at the counter.  Kitchens are wonderful places to share and visit.  Don't you agree?!

We finally crashed just before 2 am Sunday morning, then got up and started talking again at 8 am until I finally had to drag myself away at noon in order to get home to wash the weekly clothes and rest up for the work week ahead.

As is her way, Veta had packed me a "goody bag" to take home. Inside was a loaf of that freshly baked bread, a plastic bag full of pecan pieces from her neighbor's yard, some of the leftover spaghetti and meatballs, a jar of homemade chicken chili, jasmine teabags, a  pound of ground meat, and two rib eye steaks!  And a bag full of oranges from the tree in her backyard.  Wow!

Rain was dripping off the roof, but I just had to get a photo of the orange
tree in Veta's back yard!  She has gotten over 200 oranges already this year!

When I told her thanks and what a surprise it was, she said:  "I just did what I would do for one of my children."  Wow, again! I am so blessed with this wonderful friendship.

During the week prior to my visit with Veta, I received an interesting package in the mail from a fiber friend that contained a tiny pomegranate and a photo of her grandparents.  There was also a very sweet card asking me if I would please plant the seeds of this pomegranate on HeartSong Farm in memory of her grandmother, Sofia.  My friend had wonderful memories of the pomegranate tree and fruit that had grown in her grandmother's yard.  The house was being sold and there was no way that she could bring the big tree to her house, but she could pass the seeds on to me to plant for her here on HeartSong Farm!  She had recognized one of the aspects of my farm, and I felt such a rush of Joy to have the privilege of doing this for her and the memory of her grandmother.

The pomegranate and a photo of my friend's grandparents.

The seeds are in the process of drying out, and soon I will plant several small pots and wait for some sprouts to appear.  Another reason why this is so special to me is the memory of that small pomegranate bush that grew in that brick planter at the house next door growing up.  I find the timing for the arrival of that package and my trip to visit Veta rather interesting!  

Pomegranates are considered a super food these days, and are quite expensive in the grocery.  But, pomegranates have other uses than food.  For instance, a red dye can be extracted for the pretty flowers, a yellow dye from the fruit's skin, and a black dye from the roots.  You can bet that I will be trying this out on some fibers at some future date!

My research tells me that pomegranates are very east to grow, have lovely flowers, and are well suited to hot, dry conditions, although plenty of water is necessary for larger fruit.  The Spanish brought them to Mexico, California, and Arizona in the 16th century.  My friend's grandparents lived in Laredo, Texas, and were originally from Mexico.  Maybe, just maybe, these seeds came from seeds from a family tree that started out, long ago, in Spain!  Wow!

It will take 3 - 5 years to produce fruit, so I can't wait to get started.  I am also going to be trying my hand at rooting some fig twigs from my two trees this February.  My own grandmother grew figs in her Mississippi back yard, which is one reason I have fig trees on HeartSong Farm.  The bees and the butterflies really love the figs, and I hope they like the pomegranates, too!

Meanwhile, the 50 garlic cloves that I planted in October are doing very well.  Looks like I will have quite a nice harvest come May.

Garlic rows doing quite nicely in the garden!

Remember the leopard frog tadpoles I found this past Fall in one of my wheelbarrows?  Well, they are still alive and are slowly growing even in this cold weather.  I had feared that they would not make it through the freezing temps we have had this Fall and Winter, but apparently they just slow down their metabolisms, and go dormant in the cold water, even under a bit of ice.  After all, they are cold blooded creatures.  Well, duh!  We just always had them in the hot summer time when I was a kid, and I guess I didn't think past that.  Silly me!

A video of my cute little tadpoles!  My first attempt at movie
making with my new camera.  Not sure if I have done it right.

It has been a lot of fun keeping an eye on the tadpoles in their plastic container on the back porch.  I have tried to share some of them with friends and co-workers, but no one except me wants them.  I can't wait for them to become tiny froggies!  I have named them all "George, " so that I can tell them apart.

This week at HeartSong Farm, I am getting ready for the Chix Packin Stix Winter Retreat up in Gainesville, Texas.  My friend, Wanda, and I will be traveling together on Friday, and it is looking to be a lot of fun.  Photos will definitely follow as soon as possible!

I have been hearing the orchard oriole's call this last week, seen flashes of blue in the pastures, and this morning came the drumming of the red-bellied woodpecker in the Bradford pear tree near my bathroom window.  With all the cold and rain and mud the last few weeks, I am beginning to look forward to Springtime here on HeartSong Farm.

Longing

Stained glass in my dining room window.

As you know, I have been longing for so long to be at home where I need and want to be, instead of at an office where I need to be in order to earn money to pay for my home.  There are two types of need at play here.  One for my soul and one for my physical needs.  I hear some people, both men and women, say they would go stir-crazy at home, and that they do not look forward to retirement at all. Work is their Identity, who they are.  Not so with me.  My Identity lies at home and home is my Comfort Zone.  

And even though, by and large, I am a solitary soul, I also long to be around people of my own ilk some of the time.  It is so nice when you find your Tribe, and can enjoy feeling like you are understood and belong.  I suppose some people feel they belong no matter where they go or what they do.  Or, maybe those are people who don't really have a Tribe or just want to be welcomed into all the Tribes merely as a guest, and not as a full fledged member, never having to commit or really participate emotionally.  But, belonging to a Tribe does not have to stereotype you.

I belong to the Tribe that loves to laugh, think positively and for myself. My Tribe likes to share, create, support each other, and live life to the fullest.  My Tribe is friendly towards the Earth and all its Creatures and Wonders.  We are not all alike within the Tribe.  We do not all think exactly alike, look alike, or have the same hopes and dreams.  But, we do accept each other for who we are, no questions asked.  

Within my Tribe, I belong to the All Things Fiber Clan.  We are a happy and busy bunch!  Our fingers are nimble and there is almost always some sort of fluff covering the surfaces of our homes. At the end of this month, I will be visiting with one branch of my Clan at the next Chix Packin Stix Winter Retreat!  Whoop! Whoop!

I have come to realize and accept that Longing and Impatience are part of my Existence almost constantly.  Over my lifetime I have had an ongoing battle with Patience, with a longing for this or that to be achieved, acquired, or visited. In a sense, Impatience is a huge part of Longing, and Longing is a huge part of Hope. And who can say that Hope is not a good thing?  This is what I tell my Self, any way, to calm it down at times.  It usually works ... when I remember to do it.

And then there is the fact that some of what we long for is beyond our control.  For instance, a grandchild or two in this lifetime, or winning the Lottery (you have to buy a ticket first!).  Or even hearing the words "I love you!" or receiving a hug.  But, there is always Hope.

From my 1997 trip to County Kerry in Ireland.

Below are the reflections of Irish Catholic priest, mystic and poet, John O'Donohue (1956-2008), from his book To Bless the Space Between Us.  There is such Beauty in his words.

For Longing

Blessed be the longing that brought you here 
And quickens your soul with wonder.

May you have the courage to listen to the voice of desire 
That disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.

May you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease

To discover the new direction your longing wants you to take.

May the forms of your belonging -- in love, creativity, and friendship ---

Be equal to the grandeur and the call of your soul.

May the one you long for long for you.

May your dreams gradually reveal the destination of your desire.

May a secret Providence guide your thought and nurture your feeling.

May your mind inhabit your life with the sureness with which your body inhabits the world.

May your heart never be haunted by ghost-structures of old damage.

May you come to accept your longing as divine urgency.

May you know the urgency with which God longs for you.

A sunset over HeartSong Farm

My mother recently passed away quietly in the wonderful nursing facility that was part of the retirement community where she spent the last 13 years of her life. She had age-related dementia and fifty years of glaucoma had finally robbed her of her eyesight.  She was being taken care of by a very attentive, caring staff.  She was the last of her family's generation, surviving even her two younger brothers by a number of years.  HeartSong Farm was just 30  minutes away.

For the last several years, she no longer knew who I was, or even what a daughter was, anymore.  She spent most of the last three years sleeping or fretting. When I called to talk to her, she would tell me that she had nothing to do, that she didn't know what she was supposed to be doing, and that she didn't think she would go to lunch because she had not been doing anything.  When I visited with her in person, it was always the same conversation.

She longed for something to do.  She longed to be able to see again. Reading was her favorite pastime, and she longed to be reading.  She was almost 94 years old, and still she longed for something.  Longing is part of being human, I think.

She grew up in a structured environment with no give and take, and this made her very rigid in her life here on Earth. It formed her into a very negative type of person, and it caused her to think that she did not deserve to be happy, even at the end of her days. She did her best to continue that Tradition with me, and I bought into it for quite a while. Throughout my life she often said to me: "Do you really think that you deserve to do that (have that, wear that, be that, etc.)???" And: "You are just too happy."

I found it interesting that, even at her age, after all the years, she could not relax and go with the flow....let herself be taken care of, eat dessert first, ask someone for help when she was in pain or needed help getting from one place to the next or to sew on a button for her.  She would not even let herself enjoy listening to a book being read to her, whether in person or on audiotapes.  

I have spent the better part of my 65 years longing to hear the words "I love you" from her.  I have also longed to be hugged, tight and comfortingly, by her.  I remember distinctly the one hug I did receive from her, quickly given and as abruptly ended.  I do not remember at all what prompted it, just the glorious feeling of this rare demonstration from her.  I do remember that she was wearing a red shirtwaist dress with a pattern of white sailboats.  I was eleven years old.

A hot air balloon that took off near our home in Illinois (1986).

Now that she has passed on, I have to say that I feel free.  I know that she is in a better place, where she can once again see and read.  I hope that she can allow herself to be happy at last, and that there are lots and lots of books that she can spend time reading.  Now that I can view our two intertwined lives from a distance, I long to discover the ways in which we were actually alike, instead of reliving over and over again just how very different we were in our outlooks on life, the world, and how to do things.

Longing can often be bittersweet.  We don't always get what we long for, no matter how long we wait.  I am reminded of the phrases:  "In God's own time" and "God's will be done."  And lines in a Garth Brooks' song:  "Thank God for unanswered prayers."  And yes, "Life is (a lot) like a box of chocolates!"

I feel the bitter sweetness of longing strongest in Autumn, most likely because of the winding down and the shortening of the days of the year. In the fall, we begin to want comforting foods, the comforting smells of candles and fireplaces, and we look toward our hibernation during the winter months that are not too far distant.  It reminds us that our life here on Earth does not last for ever.  Hopefully, it reminds us each year to look towards the Future with Hope, and to be Grateful for the Past and all our many Blessings.

"I realise there's something incredibly honest about trees in winter,
how they're experts at letting things go." - Jeffrey McDaniel

I am spending time these days teaching myself to relax and go with the flow.  Actually, I have been working on this for several years and have gotten quite good at it.  Not perfect, mind you!  I still have my moments, but I can do it if I remind myself that it is okay to be idle now and then.  It gives the body, mind and soul a chance to regroup and refresh.  It relieves an abundance of stress, and we all know that these are stressful times we live in.

So ..... beginning now, in 2015 ..... go out and find your Tribe and Clan if you haven't already done so.  And hug your children, tell them you love them as often as possible.  And do the same with everyone that is dear to you.  Let them know how you feel about them as often as possible.  AND, occasionally, let yourself eat dessert first!  It is especially fun when you are ordering at a restaurant.  The reaction of your waiter or waitress can be very interesting!

And yes, we do deserve it!

Looking forward to the Future while trying not to look back too much here at HeartSong Farm.